peebelly
Previous post deleted at the advice of my attorney.* While I can't say those feelings aren't real, I can say that I wouldn't want people stumbling upon my words and being hurt. It would be nice to say I know everyone who has access to this site, but the truth is -- nothing here is protected.
See, I'm helping my little brother with college applications -- because I love him. And for me to risk hurting him -- that's not at all responsible or good.
Anyhow, on to the inane.
I'm going up to Buffalo after Christmas, and I'm pretty thrilled. The city moves a little slower, there are more pockets of comfort up there. All I can do now is pray for a snowstorm to blanket the city and trap us for days.
One of my concerns about my trip was -- who will watch Dexter? I'd taken Dex on a flight once before, when he was smaller, and while it wasn't terrible -- I can't imagine sticking him in that bag and shoving him under the seat again. He's certainly too big for their guidelines: that the dog be small enough to stand up and turn around in the carrier -- under the seat -- with ease. Ha! Dexter would not stand, he would be smooshed. But smooshed is better than being in the cargo hold, so Dexter would have tolerated it.
But -- but! This year, what's better? What's better is that someone up and volunteered and GOT ALL EXCITED about dogsitting. And housesitting! At the same time. People, I cannot tell you how excited this person was by this prospect. So I had to say, yes make my life easier, yes come live with my dog for several days.
This situation leaves me exerting minimal effort! Or no effort at all! It's fantastic. Before, there was the Dexter-smooshing on the plane. After, there was shuttling him to the homes of friends before a flight and dropping him off. But this way? This way I don't even have to leave my house. I just wait for the adorable housesitters to come and then I kiss them on their cheeks and then I leave. What could be better.
I must admit though that I am a little nervous about having people in my house. Is it clean? Will they think I am horrible when they see the dust on our ceiling fan? What if they find a bug? We don't have bugs, but what if a bug stumbles in on December 29th?
Did I leave something naughty in my nightstand that they could find? Will they invite my neighbor over who will look through my underwear drawer? I am sure, I am sure I will leave something embarrassing lying around. And they will find it. And they will laugh to themselves about its weirdness. And they will never tell me. And it will be a joke forever.
And, worst of all: what will they think when Dexter plaintively stands on the bed pleading with his little puppy eyes that they lift the blanket for him and let him crawl underneath -- LIKE THAT'S NORMAL. And like it happens every night. Which it doesn't. (And he doesn't try to sleep between your legs either, for the record. So if he tries to do that, don't look at me! That is a new thing. You must have done something to make that happen.)
Eep -- and the first time they see that Dexter doesn't always lift his leg as high as he should? And they see him pee on his chest? What will they think of my parenting then? Will they spend the rest of the time avoiding Dexter's peebelly?
I want to prove to these people that we are civilized and clean and have a reasonable dog. But after a few nights in our place... I'm not sure I have a chance.
*Ok, not attorney, just voice of reason.
See, I'm helping my little brother with college applications -- because I love him. And for me to risk hurting him -- that's not at all responsible or good.
Anyhow, on to the inane.
I'm going up to Buffalo after Christmas, and I'm pretty thrilled. The city moves a little slower, there are more pockets of comfort up there. All I can do now is pray for a snowstorm to blanket the city and trap us for days.
One of my concerns about my trip was -- who will watch Dexter? I'd taken Dex on a flight once before, when he was smaller, and while it wasn't terrible -- I can't imagine sticking him in that bag and shoving him under the seat again. He's certainly too big for their guidelines: that the dog be small enough to stand up and turn around in the carrier -- under the seat -- with ease. Ha! Dexter would not stand, he would be smooshed. But smooshed is better than being in the cargo hold, so Dexter would have tolerated it.
But -- but! This year, what's better? What's better is that someone up and volunteered and GOT ALL EXCITED about dogsitting. And housesitting! At the same time. People, I cannot tell you how excited this person was by this prospect. So I had to say, yes make my life easier, yes come live with my dog for several days.
This situation leaves me exerting minimal effort! Or no effort at all! It's fantastic. Before, there was the Dexter-smooshing on the plane. After, there was shuttling him to the homes of friends before a flight and dropping him off. But this way? This way I don't even have to leave my house. I just wait for the adorable housesitters to come and then I kiss them on their cheeks and then I leave. What could be better.
I must admit though that I am a little nervous about having people in my house. Is it clean? Will they think I am horrible when they see the dust on our ceiling fan? What if they find a bug? We don't have bugs, but what if a bug stumbles in on December 29th?
Did I leave something naughty in my nightstand that they could find? Will they invite my neighbor over who will look through my underwear drawer? I am sure, I am sure I will leave something embarrassing lying around. And they will find it. And they will laugh to themselves about its weirdness. And they will never tell me. And it will be a joke forever.
And, worst of all: what will they think when Dexter plaintively stands on the bed pleading with his little puppy eyes that they lift the blanket for him and let him crawl underneath -- LIKE THAT'S NORMAL. And like it happens every night. Which it doesn't. (And he doesn't try to sleep between your legs either, for the record. So if he tries to do that, don't look at me! That is a new thing. You must have done something to make that happen.)
Eep -- and the first time they see that Dexter doesn't always lift his leg as high as he should? And they see him pee on his chest? What will they think of my parenting then? Will they spend the rest of the time avoiding Dexter's peebelly?
I want to prove to these people that we are civilized and clean and have a reasonable dog. But after a few nights in our place... I'm not sure I have a chance.
*Ok, not attorney, just voice of reason.
posted by beth at 11:25 AM
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